This is my second entry for the “Secret Sauce” series. My goal for this year is to learn the secret behind successful people and share what I learned every month under this series. When I wrote the Jim Rohn post, I was hoping to compose one entry every two weeks, but realistically, I can only put together one entry per month. So my goal is to have 12 secret sauces by the end of 2018! I hope they will inspire you, as much as they’ll inspire me.
As I had mentioned in my last post, Tim Grover was one of the two people who kicked my butt into high gear at the end of last year. After giving birth to my son, I’d wanted to work on my projects, but I couldn’t get myself to do anything. I sabotaged myself with a lot of negative self talk to the point where I got super depressed and felt worthless. Then I came across Tim Grover, and Jim Rohn. These two power houses got me out of the little slump I was in. And now, each and every day, I push myself to do even a little bit. So without further ado, this post is dedicated to Tim Grover’s book, Relentless: From Good To Great To Unstoppable. I highly recommend reading this book.
Tim S. Grover’s Relentless: I OWN THIS
In this book, Tim Grover defines relentless as a mindset, where a person craves the end result so intensely that the work becomes irrelevant. He calls them the cleaners. He goes on to distinguish the three types of people: the cooler, the closer and the cleaner. The coolers are ones who will get the job done, but are not extraordinary. The closers are ones who will delivery great results, as long as not too many variables are presented to them. The cleaners are those who will provide exceptional results, each and every single time.
The following are the 13 traits that a cleaner possesses.
- Keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has enough
- Get into the zone, shut out everything else and control the uncontrollable
- You know exactly who you are
- Have a dark side that refuses to be taught to be good
- Not intimidated by pressure, you thrive on it
- You’re the “in case of emergency” button
- You don’t compete with anyone, you find your opponent’s weakness and attack
- You make decisions, not suggestions. You know the answer when everyone else is still asking questions
- You don’t have to love the work, but you’re addicted to the result
- You’d rather be feared than liked
- You trust very few people, and for those you trust, they better not let you down
- You don’t recognized failure, there is more than 1 way to get what you want
- You don’t celebrate your achievements, you always want more
Find your #1 Focus
Since Tim works closely with elite athletes, the above lists contain elements that are specific to them, for example, you’d rather be feared than liked. So, it may not seem applicable to our every day lives. But out of everything, one important thing that he mentioned is, you need to find your #1 focus. There are too many times when people become jack of all trades and master of none.
“You must find that one thing, so you can say, ‘I do ___ this___.’
And then you keep working on it, so that you can do it better than anyone else.”
I think this is very important. Take some time to figure out what exactly you want to work on. Instead of going horizontal, go vertical, and get really really good at something. One of my problems is I have so many interest, my focus gets spread too thin and I end up not accomplishing ANYTHING! There are way too many shiny objects in this world. When I check out instagram, I find this one person so good at this, and I find this other person so good at that, and I want to learn it all! This definitely is one aspect I need to work on, focus on ONE thing.
Get The Mind Strong
As I mentioned before, being relentless is a mindset. You can’t commit to excellence before your mind can take you there. Tim Grover says that a lot of people would train physically first, and then briefly touch on training the mind. But this is going at it backwards. Because if you don’t get your mind ready, your body is going to control you. I truly believe this is one aspect that got my life turned around. There are so many unpredictable things that can happen during a day. With my son changing every day, we need to adapt to his changes. So instead of getting upset about how he’s taking my time away from my projects, and complaining how tired I am because of him, I deliberately shifted mentally in order to overcome this challenge.
“Get the mind strong, so the body can follow. You control your body, it doesn’t control you.”
Decide, Commit, Act, Succeed, Repeat
In order to figure out the #1 focus, here’s what you need to do.
- Ask yourself where you are now
- where you want to be instead
- what you’re willing to do to get there
- then Make a plan to get there
- and Act on it
In other words: Decide, Commit, Act, Succeed, Repeat
It’s very important that the goals you set must be realistic. For example, if your goal is to do exercise everyday, but you can only do it three times a week, then you’ve set yourself up for failure. But no matter what it is, you need to do something you don’t like every day. If you skip one day, then you’ll have two things you don’t want to do the next day, then 3, then 4, then pretty soon, you’ll kick yourself for not accomplishing anything, and you’ll need to overcome a mental barrier in addition to a physical one. For me, the two projects I want to work on are to create my inspirational journals, and get better at lettering. And I aim to work on one of these two things every day, even if I only have 5 minutes.
I Own This
F*ck try! Trying is an open invitation to failure. Just another way of saying, if I fail, it’s not my fault.
One of cleaner’s attitude is, “I own this”. So you need to take on the responsibility to do everything you can. Good things come to those who wait work! It doesn’t take talent to work hard. It takes a willingness to be dedicated, to improve, to be better.
And don’t be a jealous of someone if you have the same opportunity and you let it slip away. When you see other people succeeding, that’s because they did the work. Stop thinking and do something. I think this is a very important lesson for me. In order to grow my instagram, I have to check out a lot of other people’s instagram accounts. As much as I say don’t compare to other people, it’s hard not to compare. It can get really discouraging when I see all these people who are traveling and having exciting lives, or seeing how other mommys taking care of multiple kids, and nailing it! But at the end of the day, you just have to do something. If you don’t do it, you’ll just be standing still, and then before you know it, you’ll be left behind and feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t want to be left behind.
Five, Six, or Seven
One of the stories that really touched me was his training with Michael Jordan.
“After every game, I used to ask Michael one question: five, six or seven?
As in, what time are we hitting the gym tomorrow morning?
And he’d snap back a time, and that was it. especially after a loss, when there wasn’t a whole lot else to say. No discussion, no debate, no lame attempt to convince me he needed the morning off. You good? I’m good. See you in the morning.
And the next morning at whatever time he’d decided, he’d awaken to find me standing outside his door. No matter what had happened the night before – good game, bad game, soreness, fatigue – he was up working out every morning while most of the other guys slept.”
Five, six or seven? This reminds me of articles on dealing with kids. You make them feel like they’re in control by offering them choices, but within limits. Like if they want a snack, you can let them choose between a banana or an apple. It’s an interesting concept.
I’d like to end with this:
“The true measure of an individual is determined by what you can’t measure: commitment, persistence,
and the instinctive power of the muscle in your chest/heart.”
There is no short cut, only hard work. You don’t have to love the work, you just have to crave the end result.
For me, it’s a struggle every day. It doesn’t get easier. But I do as much as I can everyday even if it’s only a little bit. I highly recommend reading this book. If you’ve read it, what did you think of it? Do you have any other inspirational speakers you’d like to recommend? If you do, leave a comment below!